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Friday, May 17, 2024 at 8:42 PM
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The Feral Housewife’s Weekly Horoscopes

The Feral Housewife’s Weekly Horoscopes


Capricorn- December 22 - January 19
Make the lingering decisions but use the tools at your fingertips to research them, don’t just go on your gut alone. An emotional wreck, per usual, keep on course. Enjoy the praise these decisions bring you. Just do it humbly.

Aquarius- January 20 - February 19
Emotional exposure leaves you feeling naked in front of a crowd, don’t worry, we can’t see what is happening inside your head. Enjoy some social time with the ones you love.

Pisces-February 20 - March 20
Draw a line in the sand and stay the course. Your friends will understand. When you feel guilty about the lines, wait for it to pass before you go undoing all that necessary work. Answer the calling and do something to help others with your life.

Aries- March 21 - April 10
Reach for the sun; the light will be on you. The week starts with uncertainty. You feel pretty out of sorts and unsure of yourself. All you can do is follow the light and grow upward.

Taurus- April 21 - May 20
You don’t feel like yourself; wait for it to pass. For the love of everything, holy DO NOT get sucked into any money-making schemes! This to shall pass, maybe like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Gemini- May 21 - June 20
Like Marie Curie says,” have no fear of perfection; you’ll never reach it.” Chemistry is working all around you as you navigate this week, good and bad. Be ready for anything.

Cancer- June 21 - July 22
Every decision you attempt to make turns into a breakdown. Riddled with uncertainty and indecisiveness, you are a hot mess all week long. Find the remote and get comfy. Good heavens, don’t make any meaningful choices.

Leo-July 22 - August 22
Detective Leo is reporting for duty. Just ask the dang hard questions when you find the information, consider every angle, and charge forth. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

Virgo- August 23 - September 22
Curiosity might kill the cat, but it will launch you to new heights. Follow that curiosity to the mountain tops. You will have time for family towards the weekend.

Libra-September 23 - October 22
Money is on the mind all week long. Looking to the future, balancing the books in your mind will drive you crazy, find a balance between stinginess and generosity fast.

Scorpio- October 23 - November 22
Confidence can be a killer, and you feel like you can take on the world, which is great until you jump in with the crowd and find yourself all-in on a bad idea. Take control before you are in too deep.

Sagittarius- November 23 - December21
Life is like a movie, but what is the plot? Who is the hero? Who is the villain? Why is there a car chase? It might be a good plan to sit that one out for a minute! It is about time for you to figure out a goal or two anyways!

Alicia Parsons grew up in Yerington and has been a dishwasher, teacher’s aide, patient care representative, and debt collector, before landing her current and favorite gig as a feral housewife to Trevor and card-carrying mother-of-the-year to three-and-a-half-year-old Rhett.


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