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Friday, May 17, 2024 at 9:00 PM
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The Feral Housewife's Weekly Horoscopes

The Feral Housewife's Weekly Horoscopes

Capricorn- December 22 - January 19 Rainbows and unicorns? Pretty much. There is a syrupy warmth to you this week, sweet and thick. You have opportunities headed your way, so keep your eyes open for them. Broadening your horizons in travel or studies help with the overall outlook on life. With feelings of love and kindness in full swing, you can’t go wrong sharing the love.

Aquarius- January 20 - February 19 Heightened emotions are not a bad thing right now. You will find yourself receptive to love and attachment, even making new friends along the way. With these emotions swirling, do not be surprised to find that you have a longing for tenderness and relaxation. Make yourself of service to others; you have so much to offer. Keep yourself grounded, and don’t get distracted.

Pisces-February 20 - March 20 With uplifting energy, there could be a great surprise in store for you. Bask in the connection that you feel to others right now. The empathy you are feeling can be a sign to dive into the world of spiritual enlightenment. Friendship and that special someone will love the affection and focus you shine on them, bringing you to a higher connection.

Aries- March 21 - April 10 If your happy and you know it, share the love. There is a deep and emotional current running within you this week; take advantage of it and be of service to those around you. Relationships will flourish in this light where you are floating. Lately, you can build deep, lasting connections. Stick to tried-and true traditions in business and money, or you risk losing it all.

Taurus- April 21 - May 20 The perfect balance between intentions and thoughts makes you the ideal negotiator or mediator. You can smooth over any prickly situation that comes along. Use this balance to attract someone special into your life. It won’t be the average relationship you usually find. This balance extends itself into all aspects of life. For you, take advantage of the perfect yin and yang.

Gemini- May 21 - June 20 Whatever goals have been lingering will be conquered this week. As the pressure starts to settle on you, trust that it is a blessing, you will knock it out of the park. Take time to resolve relationship troubles this week. You have a deep intuition for non-verbal cues. An extraordinary woman will help you make peace with something troubling you, possibly a mother-like figure.

Cancer- June 21 - July 22 You feel extra sensitive, but you will gain a much deeper understanding of where you fit in this world. You must achieve all your goals before you can save others. Enjoy the good luck and fortune that is coming your way in many different forms. When a special event arises on your social calendar, make sure to go.

Leo-July 22 - August 22 Strong fences make happy neighbors. You need to figure out what you expect from those around you and communicate that need with appropriate boundaries. A total sense of self is leading the way, and you should take advantage of that. If you want greatness, you need to put yourself out there to receive it. Those around you appreciate your efforts so keep it up.

Virgo- August 23 - September 22 Everything seems to be going swimmingly, don’t bask in the glory of it too long. Push forward and grab the opportunities before you. Learning something mysterious will bring you bounty, investigate learning the art of psychology, and gaining a deeper understating of the human mind. It will even bring someone into your realm that will return the investment.

Libra-September 23 - October 22 Senses are on a high, but communication is vital. You are sensing the emotional vibrations of those around you, making you remarkably in-tune with their needs. Let your inner artist out. She is screaming to create, so let her. Love and money are in the cards this weekend. You would be surprised how far negotiations and a simple hug can go. Make sure to put your foot down and hold your bottom line.

Scorpio- October 23 - November 22 There is a struggle going on between right and wrong within you. The simple answer to the complicated question of what is right is that you hold the answers, and you already know them. Communication is flowing beautifully; you can express yourself with greatness, and plans begin to develop. This is the perfect weekend to indulge in a hobby, movie, or even music as long as you see beauty, beware of cruel things.

Sagittarius- November 23 - December21 While things seem to be up in the air, try not to force a solution that will only make it worse. You are swimming in sentiment and memories. Try to meet new people and let that sense of people lead the way here; it won’t be wrong. Negotiating will be a strength at the end of the week. If you have been eying that new car, run to the dealer- ship and work your magic.

Alicia Parsons grew up in Yerington and has been a dishwasher, teacher’s aide, patient care representative, and debt collector, before landing her current and favorite gig as a feral housewife to Trevor and card-carrying mother of-the-year to three-and-a-half-year-old Rhett.


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