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Sunday, December 22, 2024 at 1:51 PM
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The Feral Housewife's Weekly Horoscopes


Capricorn- Deceember 22 - January 19
Put in the work to keep that eye from wandering. There is nothing routine about this week for you, ol’ Cap. You are not striking all the right chords in love, and there is a conflict from differing moods between you and your partner. When that partner pulls back, be ready. The Wheel of Fortune has hit, and you will need to be prepared for that change. 


Aquarius- January 20 - February 19
What a week this will be. You start strong with a new style or hobby that changes you dramatically or for the better. Still, as the week goes on, you struggle as your own deep-seated fears run over into your real-life, causing you to misunderstand those around you and take things personally that aren’t directed toward you at all. Growth is headed your way. Be ready for it.


Pisces-February 20 - March 20
Things surrounding love and money are changing for the better.  With the significant changes in love, make sure to take some time and splurge a little on something that makes you feel your best. The compliments will prove to be worth it. You can quickly figure out a complicated dynamic in some relationships you have, and it is ok to walk away and let go. It will strengthen you. 


Aries- March 21 - April 10
The week will start by socializing in excess, aka hitting the sauce too hard.  Do not let it give you googly eyes and lower standards, and you will stink for it. By midweek, the panic about your future sets in; keep a positive outlook on things and face the anxiety head-on to defeat this once and for all.


Taurus- April 21 - May 20
You are a butterfly at the start of this week. You float around with style and grace, attracting all to your beautiful colors.  You should start to enjoy those colors yourself, have confidence in yourself – you are quite grand.  When the travel bug strikes, go forth. 


Gemini- May 21 - June 20
Love is in the air. You will strike out and find those around you appreciate the latest zest you bring to the table, especially ladies.  Your social circle will be showering you with good fortune as the weekend nears. Make sure to use your powers for good. When you find that sorrow strikes know there is growth on the other side, so face it bravely.


Cancer- June 21 - July 22
You will find self-awareness and inner reflection as the week begins. You will have deeper connection to loved ones. Have you been thinking of a raise, promotion, or self-employment? This is a great time to go forward with it.  A colossal return in investments is coming your way.  You are going to be feeling more secure than you have in quite a while. 


Leo-July 22 - August 22
What a time to be alive.  You exude warmth this week towards everyone in your life. You find that family and relationships should be nurtured, and you would much rather nurture than work. Do not forget how to be direct and assertive without being a jerk.  Great messages are heading your way. 


Virgo- August 23 - September 22
Any problems that have been simmering in your personal life will finally be addressed as you spend time looking into your deepest crooks and crevices. You have a deep need to spend time showering those around you with affection.  You have new beginnings on the horizon. 


Libra-September 23 - October 22
This is the time for a change. Unlike previous attempts that end in chaos and disruption, you will find there are now exciting new opportunities on the horizon. Fortune is heading your way. Please do not waste your time trying to fight the change - embrace and enjoy it.


Scorpio- October 23 - November 22
Do not hesitate to sell yourself this week; you have what it takes to leave a lasting impression. You will fill your tanks with the love from those around you this week. Spend some real time with them in the privacy of your home. Good news is on the horizon, be ready for that enthusiasm to pay off.  The cards show that someone will pull away temporarily, stay strong. It is not forever.


Sagittarius- November 23 - December21
With ease, you will share thoughts, feelings, and worries with those around you. It is an excellent time charm that someone you have had your eye on. Planning for the long term is an excellent idea as you seem to have the foresight of what is appearing quickly. You have some serious Zaza going on. Work it. 

Alicia Parsons grew up in Yerington and has been a dishwasher, teacher’s aide, patient care representative, and debt collector, before landing her current and favorite gig as a feral housewife to Trevor and card-carrying mother-of-the-year to three-and-a-half-year-old Rhett.


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