Dysfunction Junction

Ok, so no one has ever actually died from a cupcake overdose, but by God, I was trying. During a Tuesday lunch meeting with the publisher of this very fine and upstanding journalistic enterprise, I was laid low by one of the Courtyard Café’s delectable sugary creations. After a salad. And that perfect Chicken Verde soup. And a diet coke. Yep, I fell right into the Venus Flytrap of after-meal delights.  
Let it be known, I have never had a cupcake at the Courtyard. Also let it be known, that only 24 hours after my no-sugar commitment, my steely resolve melted into something resembling day-old hospital Jell-O. Mind you, I only had a half of the fluffy white cupcake with icing delicately swirled on top, measuring slightly taller than the cupcake itself. Don’t get me wrong, I am here to tell you, they are the best cupcakes in town. In Northern Nevada. But I am also here to tell you, I didn’t need one. Or even a half. 
So why is it, dear friends, that when we set out in earnest to do a thing, we are tripped up more than before we made the decision to do it? Is it a matter of willpower? Wanting what we shouldn’t? Or is it more elementary, like the fact that CUPCAKES ARE DELICIOUS?  
I probably also should have mentioned that the salad, which was also fantastic, was the size of my head. Maybe I have a few more issues than I realized. But hey, we are all a work on progress, aren’t we? 
So, am I back on track? Not quite. There is something about the mad, furious, intensity of trying to get this paper out that lends itself to a turkey and pepper jack sandwich on jalapeno bread with mayo, mustard, all the toppers, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and jalapenos from Getto Subs. I have decided that all this may not be so bad. Look at it this way, I am helping local eateries survive in this time capacity limitations. (Maybe I should see about getting my capacity limited). Yes friends, we all must do our part. This isn’t a me society, it’s a we society.  
Enough about the New Year I-really-need-to-go-on-a-diet woes. I thought I would share some fun facts with you after the chaos and turmoil of the last few weeks – ah hem, or ten or so months, actually.  
Fact one: A Massachusetts cow was on the lam after escaping from a farm and evading capture for six months. She was finally seized by Animal Control and “will receive a new home in a sanctuary.” Yes, my friends, you read that right – a cow sanctuary.  Apparently cows on the run is more common that one might think. Another young cow in Australia narrowly escaped the slaughterhouse and found refuge at an animal farm. 
Fact two: It would seem that Massachusetts is a hotspot for wayward beasts. A “mystery llama” was also found earlier this year wandering in field. The llama, unlike the cow, was not taken to sanctuary, rather a small farm in New Hampshire. 
Fact three: According to UPI News, the No Pants Subway Ride has been cancelled. The public transit no-pants event takes place in several cities around the world every January, and could not be held this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It is heartening to know that not all COVID restrictions are annoying.  
If you smiled or grinned, just a little bit, and only once, then my job here is done. In the words of Mark Twain, “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”